Are Birth Plans Necessary?
A recent conversation with a friend planning her second birth got me thinking about birth plans. For the sake of this article I’ll call them preferences, as is my preference. She was having a planned caesarean after a traumatic emergency cesarean with her first child. She was doing all she could to ensure that this experience was vastly different to the last. Another friend expecting a baby couldn’t see the value in writing birth preferences at all. She was keen to “go with the flow” because “no one knows what’s going to happen during the birth anyway”.
Birth preferences for me have evolved since having my first bub nearly 4 years ago. (If you’re interested in my journey from private hospital birth to home birth read this). When I first wrote them they reflected only the logistics of what I would like to happen. Logistics like use of pain relief, where I would like to birth, who would cut the cord etc. By the time I was ready to birth my second baby I had changed. I was a qualified Hypnobirthing practitioner. Had educated myself comprehensively on the pregnancy, birthing and postnatal periods. I had up skilled in postnatal depression and anxiety. And I had spoken to many women who had experienced a traumatic, disappointing or disempowering birth. My perspective on birth preferences was now vastly different.
Birth preferences are an expression of what we need to feel safe and respected.
No longer did I see birth preferences as a luxury item describing what might be nice to happen should all the stars align and my caregivers agree. They were now the essence of the birth that I knew I needed. And I needed it in order to feel well, mentally and emotionally before, during and after.
These preferences guided my choice in where I was to birth, who I chose as my caregivers, and the people I chose to have in my inner circle leading up to and during the birth. They still consisted of the logistical aspects such as where and how I wanted to birth and who would cut the cord etc assuming all was well.
But the heart of my birth preferences specified the actions, communication and approach of my caregivers towards us that reflected my core values. It was these which I knew, if violated, would mean disempowerment, disappointment and/or trauma. These included being fully informed of all options and progress (I chose to the use the BRAINS acronym; see this article on informed consent for more or grab my free resource “USE YOUR BRAINS” in my FREE Empowered Mama Resource Hub) and being provided space to follow my body and baby without constant chatter or coaching. It included having an understanding that I was going to continue to honour the laboring process in my own time. And any proposed interventions had to have a medical requirement to justify them.
It’s the process that matters
What I found most enlightening about my thoughts on birth preferences is this.
It’s the process of educating and knowing ourselves that is empowering.
And it may be a powerful protective factor against disempowerment and trauma. How? By getting to the heart of who we are and what we need to feel respected, safe and nurtured during birth we can cope better if things don’t go “according to plan”.
As it turns out it’s not necessarily the deviation from our “perfect” birth that creates trauma. It’s the violation of our essence, who we are, how we need to be treated and what we need from others to feel nurtured and safe during this vulnerable time of our lives.